So you have 2 things
1. You need a trigger on both of your tables
2. You need to know if the item exists already in the other side.
Problem:
You have to have a way to compare the values in the Flow for List 1 versus the Flow from List 2, as you do not know for sure which one created the record.
The best way to make this happen would be to track the Source List ID in your 3rd list. Now normally if you only had 2 lists, its easy as you only need to add 1 column to store the ID, then in your singular Flow, you would do this
a) check if the incoming is a Created or an Update (which is easy to do)
b) if its new then just create it in list 2
c) if its UPdated, update in list 2
But you have 2 lists that you want synced. So my suggestion is this.
Create 2 columns in your 3rd list.
Make one an integer and call it List1 (or whatever you want)
Make another that is an integer and call it List2 (or whatever you want)
Now in your 2 Flows, one for each of your Source Lists, I want you to do this.
Right after the Trigger I want you to add a Condition
In the Condition. on the left put the Dynamic Created Property then is equal to and then add the Dynamic Modified
Now if these are equal then we know it was just created. SO in the YES side, you will simply do a Create Item on list 3 and if this is Flow for List1 or LIst2, you will populate the List1 or List2 column in the 3rd list, with the Dynamic ID property from the Trigger, depending on if its LIst1 or List2s Flow trigger
In the NO Side you will do an Update Item and this is where have a pre-step.
You need to first do a Get Items, with a Filter, where List1 or List2 (depending on which Flow trigger for which source list)
after you do the Get Items
Add an Apply to Each (should only run 1 time)
Inside the apply to each do an Update Item, copying the data based on whether its List1 or List2 :-)
This will perform quickly and not have you have to loop a lot etc.
If this helps please Mark as the Answer and Click Like.
Feel free to come back after and ask further questions